After each international trip, I always write an article about that trip in a journal. The article is about what I learned from that trip and this is where growth & magic begin.
- Why do I focus on the learning after every trip?
When I went to Europe for the first time many years ago, I had a really good date with a man and then he backs off gradually and ghosted me in the end. I was wondering how I should respond to that: Should I call him out or simply move on? My mentor told me that we could have an amazing date with somebody that tries to impress us but decides that they want nothing afterwards. There might be a variety of reasons for that and that doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with us. My mentor asked me to temper my enthusiasm because what truly validates a great first date is the action that person takes afterwards. I should take that person’s behavior as a whole, not merely the small amount of time I spent with that person on the date.
In terms of the question regarding calling him out or moving on, I should totally move on because I can’t waste my time trying to fix a relationship that doesn’t even start – disinterest is closure; ghosting is closure. So I shouldn’t waste more energy on that guy.
That is a wonderful lesson: What happens after the event is actually just as important as the event itself. Therefore, I started to write travel journals – I write about what I’ve learned from every international trip, including the people I met, the dates I had, the food I tried and the places I visited. Every trip gives me unique insights into life and valuable knowledge about how this world works. I’ve had high-quality relationships because of those trips and I definitely cherish all of them. Some relationships and trips have completely changed my life. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships; I’m also talking about friendships and mentorships. These are equally important and meaningful in my life.
- Why do I have high standards and no expectations?
Currently, I’ve been dating a man for four months and now I would like to spend more time with him, but he is very busy with his work. Today I’m planning on talking to him about it without looking needy. So, the solution is to present this topic as my standard instead of my expectation. With expectations, I would seem entitled because I might make him feel bad as he is not giving me what I want. However, when I assert my standard, I share something that I highly value (something that’s very important to me), and then I listen to see whether he values it as well.
Expectations may scare him away, yet standards are attractive. Likewise, when I travel somewhere, I always have no expectations, but I have high standards. By that I mean I don’t expect the destination to be perfect, but I do book the best hotel that I can afford.
“I always write a journal entry after each international trip because I highly value personal development.”
