“If you would like to find true love, you must define what that is to you, like someone that is also interested in starting a serious relationship, invests in you as much as you invest in them and shows a real progression in your love life,” says my mentor, a very intelligent person that I met during an overseas trip, “When you fully understand that, you wouldn’t need to grieve as much in romantic relationships which don’t work out in the end, as they aren’t what you are looking for ultimately anyway.”
Love shouldn’t be huge emotional peaks.
Indeed, if you define love as major emotional peaks, that’s dangerous because you might fall in love with someone that gives you highs and lows while assuming that’s true love. This is a bit like ecstasy (you may get a high for a little while; however, that’s obviously not the final solution for a good life.) Remember that exciting doesn’t necessarily mean healthy.
A Zen master once said, “This too shall pass”. As I see it, we should use this phrase in both wonderful moments and painful moments. That’s right. I simply don’t want that wonderful and brief feeling to be my emotional baseline, as then anything below that emotional baseline might feel dull or like a failure. In other words, I love a peak feeling but I don’t put too much value in it because life can’t be just about peaks – life is more about raising the emotional baseline which shouldn’t be set at the peaks anyway.
With this mindset, I had a beautiful overseas trip which broadened my horizon tremendously. To be more specific, I learned how to raise my emotional baseline by lifting my energy. For example, I have decided to show high energy so that I can lead with my energy while interacting with people. Interestingly, when people feel how cheerful I am, they become happier as well, which resulted in a lot of fascinating conversations and great connections.
How to raise my baseline:
During that amazing overseas trip, I learned some practical ways to raise my emotional baseline effortlessly:
- I learned several new recipes from people that I met in foreign countries. Whenever I want to feel the excitement during that particular trip, I can cook the delicious and exotic food at home.
- I took some marvelous photos during that trip, so I can look at those photos whenever I need to feel the positivity from that experience.
- I met some great people from that trip, including my mentor. We still keep in touch with each other and some of them have become my close friends.
“New friendships are life-changing connections in my reality.”
