“After a divorce, I’ve been traveling the world because I would like to change my environment and find a new relationship. But I’ve gone on dates with more than 10 people & couldn’t feel any chemistry at all. Honestly, I don’t want to see them again,” says Alex, “Previously, I felt chemistry before. However, now it’s so rare. Is this my problem?”
- The importance of the screening process:
Alex’s situation is not uncommon. Oftentimes it’s caused by a broken screening process. Indeed, some people don’t screen enough before each date to select individuals they feel attraction with. My suggestion is to lower the filters for the people you talk to at the beginning, yet have more filters for those whom you decide to go out for dates with. Then when it comes to choosing someone to build a connection with, you need higher standards.
This can be done relatively easily if you use online dating sites. That means when you chat with people online, you should lower the filters so that you can have more candidates to choose from in the first place. Nevertheless, in terms of deciding whom you will meet in person, you must create more filters. For example, perhaps you chat with 20 people on the Internet, but you only meet 5 people in person. Out of these 5 people, you choose 1 person to build a connection with, thereby starting a romantic relationship officially.
Alex travels the world while using an online dating website, so he maximizes his chance of meeting someone suitable. My advice for him is to fix his screening process so that he can have more high-quality candidates. In this way, he will be able to find the fast-track to joy, happiness and satisfaction in his love life. So, now Alex has a video/audio chat with each candidate on the Internet before deciding whether he should go out for a date with this person. As a result, he can set up more filters effectively.
- How safe are your ‘safe’ choices?
Maybe you date those who feel too safe, i.e., candidates you feel superior to who likely won’t reject you, as at least that way, you feel that you are in control. In other words, perhaps you are not taking enough chances with those you can actually feel very strong chemistry with.
Not taking a risk is the biggest risk.
Another reason why you can’t meet anyone attractive is you don’t give people enough chance. Sometimes the more you get to know somebody, the more you feel attracted to that person. You would be well-advised to give that person a chance to get rid of the initial dating façade while you learn more things about him/her.
“If you find Alex’s story inspiring or relatable, you may consider traveling the world in order to meet the love of your life.”
