As an ambitious person, I’ve always wanted to play big, but sometimes I feel small. I have to admit that. I’m just a human. That being said, I’ve learned some highly valuable lessons from my trip to Italy.
Everybody feels small at times, no matter who they are.
When I was younger, I was constantly comparing myself to other people. It wasn’t a healthy habit. At that time, I felt very small; however, my desire to achieve big goals forced me to play big.
Most people play not to lose. Not many people play to win.
When I was in Italy, I met a life coach who taught me something very valuable. I told her that I always felt small whenever I see someone else doing better in their career. I think I must be very jealous. But this life coach told me that I should just disconnect from those individuals who made me feel small unconsciously. So, I unsubscribed their email newsletters and unfollowed them on social media religiously. This allows me to feel much better and more valuable when I keep my focus on my work.
This life coach also asked me why I am amazing. I realized that I have so many big wins and major accomplishments in my life as well as my career so far. I’m very proud of my achievements. Also, I started to spend more time with those who play big without making me feel bad.
Then I take real action anyway. I simply focus on my passion and add value to other people’s lives. I contribute to this world in a positive way.
There is always lots of backstory people ignore when they say how lucky somebody is. Plenty of people have all the blessings and privilege without becoming high achievers, yet many others whose backgrounds are not that great have created wonderful lives for themselves. Those are not luck. Those are decisions and choices.
You choose whom you spend your time with. You choose how you spend your time. You choose where to focus on. You choose what you think of. You choose to listen to your heart or not. You choose to look after yourself or not. In conclusion, your life is the sum of the choices you have made so far in your life.
Yes, we can choose our actions, our perspective and our thoughts. Everybody has 24 hours per day. You can cherish your 24 hours each day or you can waste 24 hours. This is totally up to you!
Nevertheless, I would argue that there is no such thing as the absolutely wrong decision. Please let me explain now.
If you are worried about making a wrong decision, you will sit on it without making a decision and then time has wings. You will end up staying in the same place that you have always been. In other words, without making a decision, you won’t make any progress.
Indecision eliminates momentum. You may miss wonderful opportunities simply because you were worried about getting it wrong and waiting for someone else to tell you what to do.
Those who look like they are successful and have made the right decisions are just good at making the most of the major decisions that they have made.
From Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) to Joy of Missing Out (JOMO):
One thing I learned from my trip to Italy is that FOMO is totally unnecessary. Now I have JOMO instead. ?
First of all, I’m always where the real party is. I have realized that I don’t have to be someone who chases a great time when I’m someone who knows how to enjoy myself.
The more fun I can have in my own company, the less I would worry about the company I’m potentially missing. This is the right mindset that I must get into and it’s also the most charming quality that I can have. Those who are charismatic are individuals who often make an art out of each moment. That’s why we want to be with them no matter they are watching TV at home or going to a party.
In the second place, I have realized that there are always other parties and other nights. Indeed, that party is not a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have fun. Oftentimes I simply miss one night out or another party with amazing people. But I can always do it next month.
Yes, there are always other parties to participate in. I know some experiences are really once-in-a-lifetime (e.g. meeting Cher and Dita Von Teese, a wedding, etc.) However, most things can happen again and again, right? I simply move on and start to look forward to the next good time. I love becoming excited by planning something cool in the near future.
Next, I’ve realized that every minute I’m already missing out somewhere anyway. That’s right. If you are having a fantastic party in Los Angeles, someone else is having an even better party in Miami. When you are having fun in a bar, someone else is having a good time overseas. In other words, the competitive game of comparison does not end. In the grand scheme of things in life, there is always something better out there anyway.
I remember many years ago, my mentor said that FOMO comes from a lack of direction. If I know what I want, I wouldn’t have FOMO because I would have a clear direction in terms of where to go and what to do. Therefore, I’ve decided to reconnect with my own purpose in life. I can always do something interesting and productive today. I love being alone, so I don’t waste the precious time I spend all by myself. That’s correct. I am not doing what everybody else is doing – I’m not on social media because I’m doing some very meaningful things at work.
I’m present and I’m very grateful.
I know this statement sounds so spiritual, yet it’s also very practical and highly effective.
FOMO is a symptom of not being thankful for what we already have. That’s why we always dream about other possible moments rather than being grateful for the current moments I am already experiencing today.
In my opinion, some nights it’s better to be missed. Not doing everything is actually a huge advantage. That means I can save my energy for something that’s more important or someone that I truly admire and adore.
Of course, I don’t miss out on great things for silly reasons such as being behind on my work. Sometimes I have to stay up until 2am because I didn’t finish my work before 5 o’clock in the afternoon. That’s why I miss out on dinner parties and social events at times. I think the best approach is to be more productive and organized & establish a good routine that I can follow in my working life.
“A trip to Italy has taught me so many things that I cherish forever.”