After living in western countries for decades, I had a memorable trip to Hong Kong this year in order to attend my favorite pop singer Coco Lee’s funeral – Well, technically, I wasn’t actually attending the funeral because I wasn’t invited, but I was there outside the venue just to join thousands of her very loyal fans who were there to be with Coco Lee during that very difficult and special time. I started to listen to Coco’s music in the mid-90s and I’ve been a huge fan for almost 30 years. Therefore, it was a very meaningful and emotional trip.
How my idol’s music and personality influenced my life:
When I was a teenager, I had Coco’s posters in my bedroom because I needed her encouragement every day. I listened to her songs every night before falling asleep. Her gorgeous smile and positive personality made my world so much better.
In my early 20s, I imitated Coco’s fashion and makeup so as to feel more confident. After doing some research, I realized that Coco used cosmetics from Estee Lauder, so I’ve been using Estee Lauder skin-care products and makeup since then. Coco’s favorite scent is Beautiful by Estee Lauder and I have that fragrance as well as its body lotion, too. Since Coco always brought happiness, joy and positivity to people around her and her audience, I also decided to remain positive no matter what. During the pandemic, I lost a high-profile job, but I remained positive by focusing on what’s working for me. As a result, my mental health has definitely improved during COVID-19. In other words, I’ve become more resilient and more resourceful in spite of the pandemic, because of the pandemic. Honestly, I think if Coco could give up on perfection, she would certainly be happier and more relaxed. Perfection probably stressed her out. She should have given herself the permission to be imperfect at times. Giving up on perfection is also known as “the art of giving it up”.
What actually surprised me in Hong Kong:
During this trip to Hong Kong, I noticed that people in Hong Kong are very efficient because they move really fast – they do everything faster!
I have understood that my weakness is I do things too slowly. Speed is paramount in this day and age when things are happening so quickly!
Speed is so key because time is my most valuable asset. If I do things quickly, I can save a lot of time which can be used to accomplish other things. Hence, doing things quickly is protecting my most valuable asset in life!
In order to speed up, I have decided to change a few things in my life:
- I will stop checking. I tend to triple check what I’ve done, e.g., I would triple check if the door is locked, if there is a grammar or spelling mistake in an email, etc. But this habit slows everything down. I think double checking certain things is necessary, but this shouldn’t be overdone. When it’s overdone, it becomes paranoia. Sometimes I would go through conversations that I had with people in my head again and again, especially before I go to sleep at night – I would go through the conversations that I had during the day in my head repeatedly. My psychologist told me that this is also checking caused by hypervigilance, and I must stop it!
- I will deliberately do everything quickly because how I do one thing is probably how I do everything. I have to make doing things quickly a new habit through deliberate practice.
“A trip to Hong Kong has increased my self-awareness.”
