Living in Eastern Europe…A Letter to Myself

It is reported that writing is a therapeutic activity. For example, Kate Northrup once said, “Writing is such a joyful activity. I’m glad that I can get paid by writing a journal.” Scott Galloway famously said, “I discovered writing recently. I hope I have discovered this therapeutic activity 30 years ago!” Roosh V also said, “For me, writing is a type of meditation.” Clearly, writing is so beneficial; therefore, today I’m going to write a letter to myself. Although its format doesn’t look like a letter, the content in this article is absolutely a letter to myself & hopefully you will learn a thing or two from this blog post about what I’ve learned through traveling to Eastern Europe and living in Ukraine as well.

It’s okay to be who I really am.

It’s perfectly okay to be happy, wonderful and brave, no matter what. I haven’t had a real relationship for many, many years and lots of people judge me because of that. They look at me and think, “What’s wrong with this person? Being single can be better than being married?!” This has happened for many times when I was living in the western culture.

Truthfully, even though I had relationships in the past, I don’t think those relationships are actually real. Yes, of course, to some extent, those relationships are definitely real, but I didn’t feel any strong connection to those people previously.

We tend to underestimate the power of luck. Yes, intelligence and hard work are very important, but luck is equally important. I don’t think I have any serious problems, but so far in my life I obviously haven’t had the luck to meet the right person who can actually become my partner. Yes, I had a spouse before, but a spouse isn’t necessarily a partner. It seems that traveling to Ukraine allows me to meet new people who can understand how I feel and what I’m talking about. I’m very grateful to my new friends in Eastern Europe.

It’s absolutely okay to live a life that makes total sense to me. I am allowed to be me. There is nothing wrong with laughing out loud like a child in a busy street. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to have a corporate job which requires me to sit in an office for 38 hours per week. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to explain myself to those who have judged me – they don’t need to know my full story. Yes, I feel like a single person all my life, and that’s okay – It only means I have high standards, and there is nothing wrong with that. I don’t want to compromise my standards. Unlike many people who are afraid of being single, I don’t fear being single at all. There is nothing wrong with dressing up like a princess, even though I’m not a child anymore. It’s none of others’ business.

As a single child in my family, I know that in the near future my parents will rely on me completely. Right now, I’m ready for that – even with family commitments, it’s okay to make self-loving, positive choices for myself. My happiness is the best gift for my family because my parents definitely want me to be happy. In fact, everybody in a family benefits from the happiness in others because the happiness can be shared further. Genuine relationships understand and support this idea.

After living in Ukraine for a while, this is my realization: I am absolutely free to choose the way I want to live my life. I am allowed to honor my heart’s decisions. I am free to be me.

Gratitude makes my life easier.

Gratitude is the key to a locked door. My trip in Ukraine has taught me many things and I cherish the learning: Everyone has bad days and everyone also has good days. Both will pass and both will come repeatedly. Life is simply a balance of dark and light. Happiness comes from accepting that both dark and light are a natural part of our lives. Acceptance gives me a balanced perspective so that I can enjoy the good days and learn from the difficult days. During challenging days, this is what I do in order to feel better instantly:

First, I have a screen-free day: I literally ban myself from the laptop and smart phone for 24 hours. I don’t even turn them on. I think I should do this once a week or even twice a week! In this way, I can have more time to read good books, listen to my favorite music and go out for a walk.

Second, I wear a yellow outfit. In my opinion, this brighter color gives me a lighter heart. It makes me look and feel good immediately. Change is totally necessary to alter my current state, including my appearance. It’s simple and achievable right now.

Stop worrying and start living.

This trip to Ukraine has also taught me that the life I choose to experience is up to me. My words, thoughts and actions are creating my future right now. I’m literally creating my own life. I’ve decided to make loving, conscious choices in my life from now on.

Of course, life will stretch me and challenge me. There will be many tests waiting for me in the future. Meanwhile, life also rewards me in tremendous ways. I can live the life my heart wants. It’s absolutely safe to be who I really am. I’m very grateful for the opportunity to choose my own lifestyle and the freedom of choice in life.

Unlike so many westerners who are obsessed over material possessions, most men and women in Ukraine understand that there are seasons in life, with time for growth and time for rest. That’s absolutely normal.

I should allow myself to be joyous because life is short (the average person only has about 30,000 days on this planet) – every day is very important. Ita Buttrose even says, “Every moment is very important.” So, I should let myself laugh. I know many people who rarely laugh because they take themselves too seriously. But some of them may forget how to laugh or how to smile, which is sad. As a matter of fact, a lot of successful people are laughing out loud all the time.

In future, I will take more risks because I don’t want to wonder “what if”. I will look at myself in the mirror and say “I love you. Thank you” before going to bed every night. I will move forward with clearer certainty of who I really am, gain courage to be honest with everyone (including myself), have hope and faith when I’m challenged by life and maintain gratitude and compassion to create brand-new directions in life. I feel very grateful for each step that has led up to this point in my life and will lead on beyond. I am grateful to every individual along the way who influenced this journey. I’m grateful to Eastern Europe – without living in Ukraine for a period of time, I wouldn’t have this wisdom.