I understand that heartbreak can be very bruising. Research shows that heartbreak resembles a real physical pain that people would face according to a scientific study of the brain. Indeed, when you lose a woman that you love, you have to come to terms with ending a romantic relationship while leaving behind an entire life, including date nights that you would spend together, vacations that you would share, kids you may have raised, etc. Sometimes the best way to change your mindset is to change your environment. That’s why becoming well-traveled can help you recover from heartbreak effectively.
- Are you going to stay in this pain or choose to put the past behind you & start a new chapter of your life?
Maybe you think you’ve lost the love of your life because she left you. But in truth, your ability to love and to be loved is definitely limitless. You have a lot of potential.
Perhaps right now you can’t imagine being with anybody else, yet the keyword is imagine. In other words, your headspace doesn’t want to imagine being with anyone else currently as you are in heartache. However, your heart is a very resilient muscle. The love you will be able to experience is infinite in the future. As I see it, the ability to love will expand the more you decide to give love to other people because Law of Reciprocity is true.
How brave are you willing to be? Who is out there that may be exciting to meet and date? In fact, new love rarely resembles the old love. It’s going to be beautiful and unique. Your new love will be full of fun, joy, deepness, surprises and messiness. It’s not going to be perfect, but it will be meaningful. Moving on is a choice that you can make.
I know people who thought they have found their perfect true love. Nonetheless, situations can change at any time: My best friend’s wife passed away without warning. My neighbor’s girlfriend cheated on him. My cousin’s partner left the country because of a mental illness. Anything is possible. Everyone has to go through some sort of challenge that is very hard to describe or explain.
No matter how chaotic things can be, suffering is optional.
- At the end of the day, suffering is a choice.
After experiencing the shock and loneliness which comes with heartbreak, you need some time for recovery. There are two models of recovery: the proactive and healthy model of recovery & the passive and unhealthy model of recovery.
More precisely, the passive and unhealthy model of recovery is about getting lost in drinking, smoking and eating junk food while numbing the pain with the help of escapism such as watching TV on the couch for days or even weeks. In contrast, in the proactive and healthy model of recovery, you accept what has already happened because fatalism is real and you are happy to surrender to destiny & then you begin on the path to healing by taking action. You examine the problems of this relationship and then remind yourself of what you need from the next relationship. You focus on your career which brings you solid satisfaction and financial stability. You acknowledge the fact that pain is a part of recovery.
Frankly, suffering is indeed a choice. You can choose to stay in the pain that caused by the past. You can also choose to prioritize hope for future love.
My friend Philip is a single guy in his late 30s. His ex-girlfriend left him for another guy when he was about to propose to her (he even bought the engagement ring already). Moving on from his past isn’t easy, but Philip has decided not to cling to his old story because he doesn’t allow his past pain to control his life. Now Philip has become well-traveled: He has visited more than 20 countries and has met a lot of people. As I’m writing this blog post right now, Philip is dating a lady that he met when he was in Eastern Europe.
“Don’t allow a past pain to close off all your hope for the future. You can change your environment, meet new people and become well-traveled.”
